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avatar LazyLion65 1 year.ago

Yo mama so fat, she caused a gravitational anomaly.

yo mama jokes

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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funny dad jokes
1. What's the difference between a harbour and a port?

I couldn't eat an entire harbour but I could drink a nice port.

2. After the day's session at the annual meeting of SPUAH (Society for People of Under Average Height), many of the members, including Gimli, the Seven Dwarfs, and a few of Santa's elves, retired to a local bar for a few drinks.

Things were going well until it was time to pay the tab. Grumpy and Bashful collected money from the others, paid the bartender, then the group started to leave. The bartender discovered that they hadn't paid enough and yelled out, "Hey! You guys are short!", which, unfortunately, was misinterpreted. Thankfully, in the ensuing melee, little damage was done.

3. Which variety of Tea can you throw the furthest?

Hurl Grey

4. What did the bovine do to apologize after it ate two of the farmer’s pies?

Cow-Tao

5. TIL: To date no woman has run a 4 minute mile

I don't know of any woman who's had to run a mile to catch a guy.

6. Why are woman in physics more likely to have a threesome?

Because they've learned how to split an Adam.

7. Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Me: "Why?" Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline."

8. At breakfast, my son asked, “Is Cap’n Crunch still alive?” I said, “No…he was pretty old.” Then he asked, “Did they cremate him, like grandpa?”

“No, son…he was berried.”

9. My girlfriend left me. She said my job at the pantyhose factory wasn't manly enough.

I don't understand. I thought women loved men who have a sockcessful career.

10. Did you know: Anne Boleyn was executed for stealing food off of Henry VIII's plate?

She got the chop.

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